A Common Bondage (for Anj)

But what if we share a common bondage,
a common solitude? Is it fair for both of us?
I write & contaminate you with this terror
Of being alone- helpless, floating & adrift
in an ocean of forgetfulness, of memory
that opens all doors of pain & laughter
because I draw you to it, that which you have dismissed
to survive, move on & celebrate
the everyday world with a certain worldlessness,
except these mantras that keep you alive:
joie de vivre! Contra mundum!
It’s not fear, I know, that I must remind you
of the solitary walks between cypresses,
the cold wind nipping at your ears,
& the music of buskers that breaks the silence
with gypsy revelry & mirth.
It’s not fair that I should pull you back
to heart’s windswept promontory from where
the Parisian sun beams down on the river
that flows, flows, flows like your imagined tears…
Is it only half of my story, the rest yours?
Did I tap into something “that is truthful
from the very beginning” but which you & I
know isn’t the truth, that they’re lies
issuing nevertheless from our secret hearts.
This common bondage to common solitude-
It’s not fair, surely not fair
that I write & deliver you to a forgotten sadness…

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